I have convinced Monica, Jeremy and Kara to combine forces and participate in the Vineman relay (and keep them on the hook to train with me). Let me introduce the players:

SWIM

Monica (a.k.a. the Dolphin)
A virtual blur in the water, Monica will be swimming the 2.4 miles up and down the Russian River. She is very excited to participate in this event but is concerned that the race swim cap won’t match her wetsuit. She has prepared by buying wetsuits in an array of colors. So far the race has cost her over $2700. Monica has noted that her recovery from the swim will include seeing how many shades of purple she can turn her teeth in the vineyards by the time Aden crosses the finish line.

BIKE

Jeremy (a.k.a. Spinner)
Having already logged hundreds of miles on his newly converted tri-bike in preparation for the 112 miles through the wine country, Jeremy has mastered the post-ride recovery with a healthy liquid diet of barley and hops.

RUN

Kara (a.k.a. The Cheetah)
Along with being able to heal the most mysterious leg injuries, Kara can run like the wind. She says the secret is eating 6 baskets of all-you-can-eat wings at the Pub on Pearl the day prior to a long run. We’ll have to pack them on the plane for her marathon leg of the course.

ALL THREE SPORTS

Aden (a.k.a. The Idiot)
Somehow, Aden has convinced himself that he can make it 140 miles without keeling over. Not only that, he has convinced 3 of his friends to participate, and 15 other friends and family to travel to California and watch the debacle in person. At least there will be eye-witnesses to this tragedy.